home.
stefan and i went for a long walk (two and half hours!) a few nights ago winding through adams morgan, down connecticut into dupont and finally to the national mall where we sat on the steps of the archives and talked.
he's looking for a change right now. a big one, a little one. something. just a few weeks ago i felt the same way. i was ready to completely uproot move to the west coast, to costa rica.. anywhere. i told him that i felt that was a problem with me. when i'm unhappy i look for daring and lifechanging ways to feel different, but i've decided that i'm staying put for awhile. i'm going to try and let things happen rather than trying to control every outcome. i'm going to enjoy standing still.
right now, this is home. it's a home i built from the ground up over the past year and a half. it's taken awhile for me to feel this way, to feel that both feet were planted firmly on the ground rather than one in iowa city and one here. coming back from the midwest, i looked out the airplane and realized i was headed towards home, not away from it.
1 comment:
It's strange to find a new home, isn't it? I always felt that way when I flew back to Oregon after visiting. I loved seeing my big mountains again. And I'm proud of you for staying, too. After the breakup last year, my first instinct was to flee. That's how I've always dealt with things up until now. But that type of coping mechanism stops working somewhere after 20. So sad...
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