i went running in the freezing rain tonight, just hoping to sort things out to the beat of my shoes on the pavement. i couldn't sort myself out.

i don't know if i want to be here. maybe i should look into another college. a different state, a different city.

i met a boy. he looks lost, writes like kerouac and bought me far too many drinks on friday night. we stayed up all night talking about how crazy life is, and kissing in between sentences. i rarely fall for guys, and already i can't get this boy out of my head. i called him earlier like he asked me to, and he sounded uninterested (or maybe just sober.) i'm tired of being disappointed.

i want adventures. i want love. i want to feel okay again.


i love fall.

there's something strangely inspirational about watching everything die.

...to keep waking up in the mornings searching for ways to bear the day.