stand-in mommy

i am forty-three hours into what my mother refers to as "mommy basic training." for three days, i've swept into a beautiful, cottage-like house on alexandria avenue to play mother to four- and two-year old boys. my evenings have consisted of chicken nuggets, scooby doo, dirty diapers, imaginary pirates, bubble baths, and a nine-thirty bedtime. the first night i was here i put both boys in their beds and lay down in my bed to read. i made it about 1/10 down the first page until both boys were back in the bed wanting to sleep with me. liam had no explanation but turner said he has nightmares about a cloaked man with red eyes and a crow on his shoulder. i told him to wake me if the man ever came to visit. he didn't. the past two mornings i've awoken at sunrise to one little boy nestled into the curve of my stomach and another with his arm around my back. i don't dare move and wake them, so i just lie there and soak in this wonderful, and so very different, lifestyle.

my twenty-one year-old brother came to visit yesterday. liam was dressed in a spiderman outfit with bright green snow boots and turner as a pirate. we took them for pizza on king street and walked around - turner on john's shoulders and me swinging liam around on every street corner. liam's laugh is straight from the belly, no hesitation, and turner, who is a little shyer, is a treasure chest of stories and ideas once he knows you're one of the "good guys." john and i brought the kids back and we watched a pirate movie on their big white bed. john dozed off and when he woke up he said, "this is such a good day. such a good day." and it's true. as much as i love my twenty-three year-old life, and all of its crazy ups and downs and discoveries, it's amazing to be a part of this nest. i know that i will someday build one of my own.