is there an elephant in this room?

in eat, pray, love elizabeth gilbert is talking with ketut liyer, the balinese medicine man, about god.

"i have a good idea, for if you meet some person from different religion, and he want to make argument about god. my idea is, you listen to everything this man say about god. never argue about god with him. best thing to say is, 'i agree with you.' then you go home, pray what you want. this my idea for people to have peace about religion."

we are always drawing lines, naming names, averting our eyes. you are this, i am that. i see it most clearly living in a city that has been plagued with racism for decades. people are most comfortable when a person is doing what is expected of them, but when we challenge life and challenge what we want from it, this is scary and unsafe. the most important thing we can do to step away from these lines is to stop drawing them, and to do that you have to start a conversation.

growing up in a small midwestern town, i was exposed to only one religion - catholicism. there were sprinklings of other religions across town - lutheran, methodist, episcopalian - but my parent's dinner group was comprised of mostly catholics who spoke mostly of catholics and therefore my social foundation had already been laid before i could really define the term. i was in no way raised to discriminate against people with different beliefs; parents took us around the world, they signed us up for a variety of classes, they had friends from all walks of life. but even early on, i knew catholicism didn't fit me. i couldn't relate in any way to cain and abel, i didn't like the never ending rules, and i absolutely abhored catechism class with my peers. so around age seventeen i started searching. i tried a few different churches. i pored through books - sufism, judaism, existentialism. all interesting, but still wasn't sure how to get started. don't they need to initiate you or something? i'd grown up in such a ritualistic (and beautiful) religion, that i did not understand that you could just be.

by nature i've always been spiritual. i love art. i pray. i take long walks. i crave connection. i love hearing about what inspires other people - their beliefs, art, loves, lifestyles. i'm on a quest to find out what fits me, though it most certainly might not fit the next person and my own beliefs today might not fit two years from now. today it's pablo neruda, the yoga sutra, ecclesiastes, hil st. soul. this is what i believed when i was eighteen (much of which is the same)...

"i believe in love. i believe in daydreaming during every quiet moment. i believe in losing yourself to find yourself again. i believe my little brother is going to have a lot less heartache, and be stronger. i believe in days dedicated to green tea, long naps and a good book. i believe in traveling lightly and often. i believe in black and white photographs. i believe in sleeping in late. i believe in kisses on the nose. i believe in change. i believe in long drives with good music and good conversation. i believe in rock and roll. i believe we should embrace, rather than criticize. i believe in mistakes. i believe that no person or situation is black and white, nor should be treated like it is."

when i found yoga, i found middle ground. the term yoga actually means "union" in sanskrit. it is spirituality without the stifling parameters and requests. you are just to be. it's like a big comfy sweater that is loose warms when you're a child and something that fits you better but still allows you room for growth when you are an adult. this is the core essence of my being, and the way that i explore or communicate this is my decision. it's the lens through which i view the world.

"we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. we are spiritual beings having a human experience."
teilhard de chardin

image from margaret lanzetta

i know that religion is something not to be taken lightly. when disagreed upon it can incite a hell of a lot of anger - whether that is an argument at a dinner party or a decade-long war. but i believe it something beautiful and integral that should be explored. i pass no judgement on anyone's beliefs and wish the same from others. xoxo.