reasons that life is good today:

almond coffee for breakfast - nic is here! - cute shoes - christina is moving to d.c. - to boston on friday - one more day at jane - lunch with brooke - sun - dinner in williamsburg - busy work - email from my brother - strawberry waffles in the not-so-distant future - lake panorama - daydreaming - pink toenails

I can’t believe I’m quoting a Starbucks cup but it’s Jill Scott and she’s definitely quotable.

“Embrace this right now life while it’s dripping, while the flavors are excellently woesome. Take your bites with bravery and boldness since the learning and the growing are here in these times, these exact right nows. Capture these times. Hold and kiss them because it will soon be very different.” Jill scott

meghan is back in omaha & jeri is in long island so cristi & i went out for dinner & cupcakes last night. i had a glass of pinot noir, a salad with avocado & black beans & then we capped off the evening with a cupcake from billy's. for some reason i was in bed by 11 p.m. i want to enjoy my last sunday in new york. i love getting up before the hordes of people start milling down 34th street & enjoy less honking, less sweating, less crowds.

i'm ready to head "home" for a few weeks but i haven't been in glenwood since march, steven's funeral. months later, i try to pretend it didn't happen but seeing the change in john reminds me all too well that it did.

came home tonight to a bright orange sunset. i just laid on my bed, my chin buried in a pillow, watching. i will miss this view, this room, this city. only one more week in new york city then back to my little home in iowa (to strawberry waffles & brick streets & my family) & then i'm off to washington d.c. to intern for national geographic.

nic is coming to pick me up in just a few days. i don't how exactly this has come about but i am so glad that it has. he got back from honduras about a month ago & just knowing that he's in iowa while i'm here is killing me. we have decided to drive to boston then to chicago then to iowa city & then home to glenwood for my dad's 61st birthday.

my friends & i had dinner in the oh-so-trendy meatpacking district.. red wine & calamari & eggplant at pastis. we have had such an unbelievable summer together that it is really hard to say goodbye.. we are all going off to do interesting things & will meet more people & have more pastis-like dinners but it always baffles me that not one moment will ever be repeated. i have such a clearer view of what i want now, and also of what i do not want.

i'm off to drink wine & watch the sunset disappear.

embrace the uncertainty.

stay reminded of how fragile life can be. learn to appreciate what you have, rather than what you think you need. realize that we are all in this together. realize that unparalled beauty comes out of unparalled devastation.

realize there is no one to blame.

"the only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next."

ursula k leguin

this weekend was exactly what i needed.

saturday i spent the afternoon at anna's drinking a big cup of coffee and spilling out things i didn't even know i needed to say. after a short run, amanda and i met for a beer and then grilled out with a bunch of her friends.

i had forgotten the importance of relaxing and blowing things off and writing in my journal and drinking mugs of chai without my laptop in front of me.