life used to be safe. i used to be able to predict my future that lie clear and concise like the lines on my hardwood floor. now i'm living day by day, always a little worried, always a little fearful, but finally living only day by day. i think i'm growing up. i know that beauty can only be found through a little conflict, a little confusion, never in monotony. (beauty can hurt, but beauty can change.)

as for the new year, i've decided to be a little easier on myself, my life, my friends, my family.. my mom has always said, "everybody's just trying to survive." that always seemed ugly to me, but it's the truth. it's why we let certain people in (and leave certain people out), it controls our every thought, emotion and motion. in previous years, my new year's resolution was to be perfect. ofcourse that never panned out. usually i headed in the opposite direction of perfect, and in the crazy span of life, that direction has lead me where i am right now.

i'm thankful for that.