shifting

i wore my t-shirt with a rainbow on it today. i walked slowly. i tried to enjoy the scenery, the people, the decaf latte i picked up at starbucks.

then i got to work and a big sign with a rainbow that reads "have faith. things fall apart so that things can fall together" was stuck to my computer. it's a sign i gave to stefan a few months ago when he was having a hard time. it's my turn to remember that saying. there was also a card on my keyboard from my boss that said, "just a note to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts as your dad goes through this. from all that you have told me, i know that he is very strong and positive, and he will surely come through this experience even stronger."

how lucky am i? how lucky is my family? we're surrounded by people who love us and want to help us through this time. last night i told my dad that i'd asked a lot of people to pray for him. he said that he already knew that. he could already feel it.

i feel like i've been so negative lately but in the face of this news i'm ready to shift that perspective. negativity isn't getting me anywhere and it certainly won't help my dad. so today i'm going to walk slow and enjoy my latte and send lots of love to my family in iowa.

"the first noble truth says simply that it's part of being human to feel discomfort. we don't even have to call it suffering anymore; we dont even have to call it discomfort. it's simply coming to know the fireyness of fire, the wildness of wind, the turbulence of water, the upheaval of earth, as well as the warmth of fire, the coolness and smoothness of water, the gentleness of the breezes, and the goodness, solidness, and dependability of the earth. nothing in its essence is one way or the other.the four elements take on different qualities; they're like magicians. sometimes they manifest in one form and sometimes in another.... the first noble truth recognizes that we also change like the weather, we ebb and flow like the tides, we wax and wane like the moon. "
pema chodron