i am not good at saying goodbye.

chaos

i'm heading to philadephia today to work at a national geographic traveler photo seminar with krista. we're spending the weekend there and i'm excited to see the city and meet some more of our photographers. it's always so inspiring to meet more creative types.

i get back on sunday night and finish packing up for the move on monday. i'm anxious to get everything into the apartment and start making it feel like home. i know i will love living alone. with all of the chaos of guests and deadlines and plans, i have been skimping on my yoga. after a week in mexico and coming back to a new home, i hope to feel even more balanced. it's these crazy times that you really find your equilibrium.

where i've been/where i'm going

listening to:

reading:

playing with:

going to ensenada:

i've been busy as a little bee for these past two months and the ride won't stop for at least another month.

take/it/all/in

just be

when people start to mediate or to work with any kind of spiritual discipline, the often think that somehow they're going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are. it's a bit like saying, "if i jog, i'll be a much better person." "if i could only get a nicer house, i'd be a better person." if i could meditate and calm down, i'd be a better person."... but loving-kindness--maitri--toward ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of anything. maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. we can still be angry after all these years. we can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. the point is not to try to throw ourselves away and become something better. it's about befriending who we are already. the ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. that's the ground, that's what we study, that's what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.

pema chodron

maira kalman

walk slower.

i woke up at four in the morning to lightning and pouring rain. it's the sort of weather that makes you cocoon yourself in blankets and hope you can spend your morning with a mug of tea and your new book. but instead i walked to work, cafe au lait in hand, in the chilly morning that smelled and looked of spring. everything is bright green right now. i stopped to take a couple of photographs of this because it almost seemed too green to be true. ah, i love spring. and fall. and summer. and winter. but i really love spring.

my friend andy sent me a link to this garrison keillor article about walking. it's amazing.