i have felt very negative lately, like i'm holding the world on my shoulders. i wake up and i begin worrying, worrying, worrying.

what about? it goes a little something like this.

what to wear to work.. if i should buy a chai or save my money.. speaking of money will i have enough for my around-the-world trip?.. oh god should i even be moving out of my house and into my own place?.. can i afford it?.. no, i really shouldn't.. back to what to wear to work.. am i done with everything at work?.. what if someone throws something at me today that i can't handle?..

you get the picture. on and on and on. i'm not used to feeling this sort of anxiety and it scared me.

but this morning i was looking out the window at the sunrise without a thought in my head. just thinking, wow that is beautiful. and then i focused on my breathing as i walked to work. not a thought in my head. just noticed a tiny black bird with white stretched out over his wings. i noticed the smell of the air and it reminded me of early summer when i first moved to d.c.

this is the way i should feel, and it's usually the way i do feel. i was talking to my mom this morning and i said that i hadn't felt like myself for a few days. i'd forgotten how to breathe. how to relax. and she said that sometimes you just have to lose yourself to find yourself again. it's so true. just relaxing deeper into the ebb and flow.

and sometimes that means taking an hour-long vinyasa class during lunch, which i just did. ahhh...