classes are underway. i don't care much for my theatre in london class because it's held in a room with no windows for four hours, but i love my literary london class.

yesterday tim, aaron and i went for my first plate of fish and chips after class then for some espresso. they decided to go to the pub and after much convincing (okay, it didn't take toooo much convincing) i joined them for a beer. we met a few middle aged men from dublin who thought aaron was this famous swedish soccer player who also has blonde dreads and always sticks his tongue out when he scores a goal. they didn't seem too disappointed when we told him he wasn't and bought him a game of pool and me a very large beer.

some of the girls from the study abroad program started talking very loudly about how "weird" british guys are. with the exception of four girls i have met, most of the girls in our program are very spoiled americans who came to london to hang out only with other americans and have no desire to experience british culture, but to complain about it. well, now that that is off my chest, i will mention that tim, quinn, aaron and i are taking the ferry to dublin in a couple of weeks for a long weekend. everyone i have spoken with has said it's beautiful and i've been reading a bit of james joyce and that makes me want to see it. oh, and we are going to to the guiness factory. jealous?

i found a new cafe to have coffee in in the morning near my place. it's called amici which means friend in french, i guess. besides having a corny name it is adorable and has tables outside with umbrellas and big windows and i spent the whole morning reading there. the workers on the tube/underground are on strike right now.. hopefully for just twenty four hours.. but this means that everybody is taking buses and cabs and holloway road is loud and crowded and resulting in all sorts of catastrophes i can watch from my window. london is one big beautiful mess right now.

yesterday was my first day of class. we went on a tour of bloomsbury which is absolutely gorgeous and spent time in the peace park (where there's a statue of ghandi in the middle) and then to the british museum. after class was over, i snuck away from my american counterparts and ended up meeting a girl from australia who is living here for five months. we decided to share a sandwich and get espresso in a sidewalk cafe on museum street.

after she left, i got out my map which i'm horrible at decoding and ended up just wandering around. i bought myself a long scarf at a corner store.

when i got home after taking the tube in the wrong direction not juts once BUT twice, i made it back to my flat and tea like a little english girl and read a few essays by virginia woolf. then six of the guys and one other girl and i found hopped on the tube and found a corner pub and i played typical english songs on the jukebox and drank a stella artois. yum.

more later.

london is amazing.. i live in a flat with three guys from the west coast. i've learned a lot of new card games in the past few days. the flat is on the top floor of a place on holloway road in north london. i have a huge window without a screen that looks out over the main road. as you can imagine, i spend most of my time with my head out of the window watching everyone pass by.

on the first floor of our apartment building there is a pub called "big red." my first night in london was spent drinking carlsburg and listening to a beatles cover band.

the weather changes every second. the mornings are a bit chilly and sunny, and by afternoon is warmer but overcast and then the minute you feel comfortable enough to take off your jacket, it starts pouring rain. i've been waking up early.. like around six am.. and finding a cheap cafe to eat some toast, drink coffee and write in my journal in. the rumors are true, the food really is disgusting here. i have been eating toast with nutella on it and drinking carlsburg. i think it's a better alternative to america's no-carb craze.

i had my first class today - literary london. my instructor is taking us on a tour of bloomsbury, where virginia woolf lived, later this afternoon. i think i might go down to camden afterwards. i guess they have a great market and kind of an indie crowd or something.

i'm in an internet cafe right now. the italian guy who owns it started playing a lot of three doors down after he found out i was from the states. he keeps pouring me coca-cola and asking me if i want to go on a date. uh oh, now he wants to know my star sign.

i think i'm seeing the world through rose colored lenses. it has been beautiful here and i have been falling in love with london all over again. yesterday i woke up early because the sun was streaming through my window onto my bed and i made tea and wrote in my journal and then tim came over and we hopped onto the tube. the first place we went was a place the history class toured called st. dunstan's. it is a church that was bombed during the first world war and all that is remaining is the structure. the inside is open to the public and overgrown with flowers. i just laid in the grass and wrote in my journal and soaked in the sun. next up was westminster abbey. i had the BEST sandwich i have ever had. it was called sandwich sofia. perhaps i'll name my first daughter after that sandwich. haha it was avocado, bacon, tomato and brie on a baguette. yummy. we walked to st. james' park (the park in the film "about a boy") afterwards and sat in the sun some more and then went to harrod's where i bought my mother some english tea because that is definitely the only thing i can afford in harrod's. i keep asking myself where this trip has gone? i only have around fifteen days left, five of which will be spent in london. yesterday i was standing on the london bridge and tim said, "i'm really going to miss this place." but the fact is that we are so young that we don't have to miss it. we can keep coming and going, we can keep saying goodbye.

one's destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things.
henry miller

i'm sitting in an internet cafe that is playing classical music. it's really warm here today.. probably around seventy degrees.. i just finished doing laundry with katie.. this afternoon we saw "the woman in black," a play that was supposed to be scary but seemed a bit hokey to me. i have one more essay to finish up for class and then i am finished and i'm off on my backpacking adventure with nathan. i can't wait to see him.. i miss seeing the people i know and love every day.. the other night i went to dinner at a four star restaurant called tamarind and sat next to ben kingsley of "Gandhi." i think i got my fifteen minutes of fame through osmosis. it's all over now.

summer

trying to learn to let go/running/drinking iced coffees/reading the prophet/miriam's hot pink high tops/painting my toenails hot pink/missing iowa city and lou henri's/sooo much rain/john's graduation/collaging my journal/driving with the windows down/searching the discount bin at homer's/sushi in the old market/working early hours at a boring job/a love affair with myself while backpacking/finding more silver bracelets/my morning jacket live at sokol/fresh cut flowers

home?

alarm with no radio. chai tea in a bubblebath. opening the coffee shop. digging my fingers into hawaiian hazelnut. ryan adams "love is hell." instant fireplace. lorrie moore. godiva chocolates. queen size bed. running at the armory. ghosts. journal with black cover. watercolors. little brother. poorly made martinis.

"everyday that we wake up is a good day. every breath that we take is filled with hope for a better day. every word that we speak is a chance to change what is bad into something good. we aren't slaves.. this nation is at least a potential democracy. we need to wake up from this walking nightmare and realize that the sun is still shining.."

walter mosley

<3

so much has changed. i have changed. the more i learn, the smaller i am. the air smells different. white gardenia, perhaps. i began riding my bike again. i've decided i want to live in colorado, or northern california for awhile. i don't really want to live in new york city anymore. i want to move slower than that. layers have begun to peel away. it feels nice to have the sun on my skin.

(it's raining here today but it feels good, and i didn't open my umbrella.)

wishing on 1:11s
for cowboy boots
and a brave heart.
"you want a shot?"
"make that two.
the wishes ain't coming true."
third time around
he gives me
a lopsided smile
and i look
d
o
w
n.

Assignment Two/Creative Writing

I found my religion when I was fifteen years old. A passion for the city, for the chaos, for the unexpected. From the fire escape I could watch the city fold and unfold from morning till night. I’d sit, letting my legs dangle over the side, with a cigarette and cup of coffee. I’d watch the Korean man who owned the grocery across the street open up, and I’d watch him close. He’d move to the Rolling Stones on my headphones, sweeping, moving, folding, unfolding. Around eight, the crazy lady living below me would crawl out her window onto her fire escape wearing only trashy red lingerie smoking a long Virginia Slim. At precisely 8:02, the Korean grocery man would appear in the front window and steal long gazes at the crazy lady who was now posing, making an art of her slutty lingerie and long cigarette. After a long last look, he’d slip back into his store, as slowly as the crazy lady would slip into her half opened window. They’d both turn and look back at each other, but never at the same time. (He never knew that she wore that lingerie for him.) Around 8:08 I’d crawl back into the tiny apartment, step over the boys sleeping on the floor and pour myself another cup of coffee. (Out the window.)

“Hey, whatcha doin’ out here all the time?” asked Crack, sticking his awkward shaved head out the window.
“I’m watchin’,” I answered.
“That’s all you ever fuckin’ do.” He tilted his head and spit on the street below, then drug the back of his hand slowly across his mouth, and slinked back into the apartment.
I faced the street again, took a sip of my coffee, and watched a world that struggled to be predictable, as did I, day after day.